Month: August 2023

a good 24 hours

What’s your favorite time of day?

Most of my life I have had a love affair with the late-day sun, watching it dance on the sheers with the shadows of the leaves against the window, following rays of light from one room to another to see how far the reflections go, and tracing speckles across the bed after a nap. The amber glow puts me in a dream-state until it fades, and I mourn its transition to twilight.

But then, there’s twilight. That fleeting moment when a deep blue hue embraces the atmosphere, drenching the air until fading to indigo. Sometimes the moon rises so bright you can see the green on the trees. And the crickets chirp and the lone mockingbird sings. The cat sees you in the moonlight and winks a wink of mutual understanding that life awakes when the world is asleep.

Cozy in my corner chair, in the dark, listening to the mockingbird play a tune just for me, I write until I feel the magic pass. Then I drift off to sleep in that same lucid dream-state as in the late-day sunny window when the light seeped through the blinds and spilled all over the floor.

With my eyes still closed, I hear lawn mowers and leaf blowers and smell the fresh cut grass of morning. The day ahead brims with potential when no plans are made.

And then the amber light streams through after an adventure found, lulling me back to sleep for a late-afternoon nap.

In braille, perhaps?

How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

I saw a meme once. A man in an interview is asked by a group of people if he can perform under pressure. The man replies, “No, but I can try Bohemian Rhapsody.” In a similar meme, the man is asked how he would describe himself. The man replies, “Verbally, but I also prepared an interpretive dance.”

– – – – – – –

I want to raise bees and chickens and grow a garden. I would have a room void of everything but helium balloons on the ceiling if the people I live with would allow it. I want to go back to school and learn all the things and become fluent in all the languages. I want to learn kung fu, but I’m good at pretending I already know it.

Perhaps I could prepare my descriptions in Esperanto to increase the probability that the person would be able to understand what I am saying.

I have a ukelele that I could play once, and I used an app to learn Latin. When I reached the level “I would like thirty cookies, please,” I was satisfied and moved on to painting rocks to leave along the trail near my house. The rocks are gone now.

I would describe myself as Helen of Troy painted in the cubistic style. This would possibly suffice if the person were simply not looking at me and had in fact seen a Picasso in color and read the Illiad.

I would prefer the person to be blind, however, having been born that way so that he or she would not miss having seen. Then I would have a long conversation with him or her, learning how he or she perceives the world. Then perhaps I could find the words to properly convey who I am. I would read to the person Ulysses by James Joyce.

But the truth is that I cannot be described. I am anonymous and only sometimes tell the truth.

Except for the kung fu. I’m pretty good at pretending I know kung fu.