Tag: anger

Do, or do not, …

I’ve been watching movies. The past three nights I have watched the first 5 episodes of Star Wars. I’ve never seen them back-to-back before. The series is outstanding when watched in order. Even better having watched a bit of The Mandalorian beforehand.

I watched Jaws last Saturday night. I always get wrapped up in Quint’s story about his experience on the USS Indianapolis. He gives me chills when he tells it. And every time I wonder whether the fate of those sailors was punishment. I heard once that Oppenheimer felt great regret for his involvement in the making of the bomb. I wonder whether Feynman did, too. I really like him. He saw the world as a beautiful and wondrous place. How could he not?

No sense wondering whether the evils that combat evil are justified. Maybe Spock was right. You know, “The needs of the many,…”

I have read about the tunnels in Japan. My brother saw them. He felt the evil living in them, and he was terrified.

I don’t like to think about such things. I’m not qualified. I’m more of a Yoda fan.

“Train yourself to let of go of everything you fear to lose.” That’s my favorite Yoda quote.

He told that to someone powerful who felt too much. The man’s fear turned to hate, just as Yoda said it would, and that man’s fear destroyed his very soul.

Fighting fire with fire is a response to fear, is it not?

This is too much to dwell on on a Tuesday night before bed.

Say Hello To My Little Friend

Ah the stress. The emotions that pour out as verbal abuse. Not like that. But snapping, Yelling. Someone gets hit with it if they are within listening range. Someone becomes an unintended target. Then on and on until the dog gets kicked. You know the story.

And the things we let get to us that cause the stress…some valid, others contrived. Mostly contrived, but maybe not.

I need a baseball bat and a room filled with fragile things. The inanimate kind. The kind I can smash without feeling bad about afterward. Without feeling regret. Like I do with the snapping and yelling at people who are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

This is why I hide. But hiding doesn’t go over so well, either.

I’ve been walking in 100+ degree heat (that’s 38+ Celsius for most of you) twice a day since summer began. Okay, not every day, but a lot of days. The heat burns off the negativity.

I should have walked longer this time.

I just erased a rant that would rival Scarface. I needed to write it. I needed to erase it. No one should be subjected to that level of anger. No one should feel it, either. I watched Anakin Skywalker turn into Darth Vader last night. I don’t want that to happen to me.