is out of reach.

When it gets here, it changes to later. Just after the now. Always after the now.

It’s plans we make and that others make for us. It’s expectations and anticipation. It’s the unknown, and if we are honest with ourselves, it’s the source of our fear.

We are never living our future but what transpired from the past. And there are so many variables at play, most of which we are never aware of, which is why plans usually fall through, disappointment is often inevitable, and why things are rarely as bad as we thought they would be.

We adapt and improvise, find the good, step up, and conquer. The future is an image, and the past is a lesson learned. The now is where we action happens. The now is the preparation for the next now and the battle against, or for, what currently is.

Fear is most often a choice. We can’t control what will be. We can, however, embrace where we find ourselves.

. . . . . . .

I am currently terrified of reaping the consequences of inadequacy. And maybe failure and humiliation will in fact come to pass. I will prepare myself for the worst. I will be proactive. That is my plan—my endeavor for the immediate future—to alleviate my current fear.

In the meantime, I will toss my cares aside. The now is all that matters. And what I do now is a choice.

. . . . . . .

I am a beast. If not by way of actual competence unacknowledged then by the ability to push through. I’m pretty decent at dealing with humility after a lifetime of experience. There is more to my life than what I fear, and there is more to my life than past sorrows. I have a choice to bring either one into my present, and I choose not to. I choose peace.