Dragging You With Me Down The Rabbit Hole

Inspired by a recent conversation with an old friend and my brief scuffle with quantum physics, I have decided to continue my arduous journey through the fog of this subject, specifically entanglement and synchronicity: the former a proven phenomenon of the unseen world that defies all logic, and the latter a not-quite-so-proven phenomenon that is also of the unseen world, evidenced only by human experience. Science is not fond of anecdotes, which is why synchronicity gets a bad rap from the scientific community. Wolfgang Pauli, one of the most prolific physicists in history and Nobel Prize winner for his role in quantum physics, wholeheartedly believed synchronicity was connected to quantum entanglement. He collaborated with Carl Jung to explore this connection, and this collaboration resulted in two essays, one by each scientist and published in one book: The Interpretation of Nature and the Psyche. I plan to read this book, attempt to understand it, and report back with my take. I am on Pauli and Jung’s side of the argument for now, and not just because I enjoy being contrary, though that might have something to do with it. I will also attempt to explain what entanglement is, and I ask in advance for your forgiveness for making no sense whatsoever.

life update for the aether

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? The summer slipped by so fast with all my medical escapades and whatnot. Kinda sucked, actually, but I did get a bit of warm sunshine. One-hundred degrees is the new warm in Texas, in case you didn’t know.

I spent the past week immersed in physics conversations with like-minded physics folks. I did a lot of walking and ate a lot of food that was really bad for me. It was a nice getaway, and I learned a lot. Met new people. Made friends. Geeked out at the University of Texas in Austin with other geeks. Super fun.

And I go back to work on Wednesday. I’d honestly rather be holding deep discourse with peers than planning for school, but I gotta remember the good parts that come with being a teacher. Just today I got an email from a student from last year asking for a recommendation letter. He reminded me that I did a decent job. That was helpful, as was the refresher last week, given my months-long bout with self-doubt. Gotta let that stuff go already. It’s gonna be okay.

Anyway, T-minus 20. In the meantime, I think I’ll go for a pedicure tomorrow and take a nap in the massage chair at the nail salon. Take a walk. You know. Pretend It’s still June for a couple of days.

But July is nice, too.

Do, or do not, …

I’ve been watching movies. The past three nights I have watched the first 5 episodes of Star Wars. I’ve never seen them back-to-back before. The series is outstanding when watched in order. Even better having watched a bit of The Mandalorian beforehand.

I watched Jaws last Saturday night. I always get wrapped up in Quint’s story about his experience on the USS Indianapolis. He gives me chills when he tells it. And every time I wonder whether the fate of those sailors was punishment. I heard once that Oppenheimer felt great regret for his involvement in the making of the bomb. I wonder whether Feynman did, too. I really like him. He saw the world as a beautiful and wondrous place. How could he not?

No sense wondering whether the evils that combat evil are justified. Maybe Spock was right. You know, “The needs of the many,…”

I have read about the tunnels in Japan. My brother saw them. He felt the evil living in them, and he was terrified.

I don’t like to think about such things. I’m not qualified. I’m more of a Yoda fan.

“Train yourself to let of go of everything you fear to lose.” That’s my favorite Yoda quote.

He told that to someone powerful who felt too much. The man’s fear turned to hate, just as Yoda said it would, and that man’s fear destroyed his very soul.

Fighting fire with fire is a response to fear, is it not?

This is too much to dwell on on a Tuesday night before bed.

Feynman And The Art of Letting Go

What notable things happened today?

“Notable things” has a positive connotation, I believe, and perhaps that means I’m an optimist. “Notable” is another way of saying “noteworthy,” which is in fact neither good nor bad. To me, if something is worthy of recalling, a positive implication is arguably the reasonable assumption. This quality of distinction is important for the sake of this post because today, which is now yesterday seeing as it is now after 3 am, there were only two things worthy of note among a plethora of bad, unworthy things. I got to spend more time with my family than I would have had I not driven to Dallas at all. I had planned to stay for two nights, but an unfortunate situation came up that required me to drive home today instead of tomorrow, and upon arrival I discovered my cat’s face is swollen, likely from being stung by a wasp or something. She’s been in the house for two days, so hopefully she killed the thing in the process of being stung, lest I lie here in danger of being stung, myself. I also received a disturbing text on my way home and another unsuspected, unrelated delay in seeing my husband. And I don’t feel well. Fortunately, a second thing “of note.” meaning a second positive thing to write about, is that I came home to a clean house and a cozy, made bed.

I started a book (two, actually), written by Richard Feynman. They are audio books, which I’m not sure count as books, but they should. I listened to them on my drive.

When I was a young physicist, I worked with Nikola Tesla’s great nephew as an analyst. He asked me once about my thoughts on Dr. Feynman, of whom I had to admit I knew nothing. I felt humiliated, undoubtedly the most humiliated I have ever felt—and I’ve spent much of my life humiliating myself. I was a good analyst, and I knew a lot, but I did not know anything about the most prolific scientist of the twentieth century. And I had to meekly admit this dreadful lack of knowledge to Tesla’s great nephew.

I have been doubting myself quite a bit lately, and yesterday, while dwelling on my self-doubt during my long drive across Texas, I was reminded of that horrible moment that solidified the fact that I have good reason to doubt myself. I asked myself why I never took the time after that encounter with Dr. Tesla 2.0 to educate myself on Feynman and his work. So I searched a bit and found that he wrote a few books, one appropriately and rather ironically titled, What Do You Care What Other People Think?

I listened to him speak through the voice of some random voice-over guy, and I was comforted. I also listened to a couple of lectures he gave and discovered that he is probably the most knowledgeable person I have ever learned about. Ever. Though he was a theoretical physicist with a strong background in chemistry, he lectured on the role of physics in all other sciences. He explained how specific enzymes determine physical traits of all living things and how quantum particles determine the enzymes. I should have been fascinated by the content, but more so I was fascinated by the man. His approach to science in general was so simple. So practical. He made me feel that not knowing things is more interesting than knowing things…something he actually stated again and again. I still need to know more. I still have much to learn. But I don’t feel inadequate anymore. There were many things he claimed to not know, not because those things were unknown at the time but because he hadn’t learned them yet.

This from a Nobel-Prize winning physicist.

My peek into the mind of Richard Feynman today was most notable, and I feel vindicated in some way. What I knew nothing of, what humiliated me most of all, actually made me feel worthy of being a physicist. Not because I learned more physics but because I was told to not worry about what other people think of me and my not knowing.

After considering my terrible day, I now see how good the day actually was. I let the many bad things overshadow the few good things. And I’m now realizing this is my cozy, made bed.

Don’t run from things that scare you—I said that once. What scares you likely doesn’t exist and probably won’t come to pass. And if it does, this great man I met today told me not to care what other people think about my shortcomings. So don’t do that, either.

Life is full of notable things if you pay attention.